Life
Ego Embarks
In a tapestry of ink, she finds her skin,
A woman with tales woven within.
Her body, adorned with symbols and art,
But beneath the surface, her ego embarks.
Each stroke, a colorful mask conceals,
Fragility hidden, her tattoos’ shield.
But beneath the colors, in confusion held space,
An identity crisis that time can’t erase.
She settled for a boy, a compromise made,
To soothe uncertainty, her fears allayed.
Yet her heart, uncommitted, aches for more,
Yearning for souls she longs to explore.
Her tattoos speak loudly, but truth lays bare,
Love cannot flourish in a truce’s sharp snare.
Her heart’s silent inmate, still seeks its pair,
A connection beyond what isn’t there.
Beyond comfort’s walls, she looks with hope,
The boy she found couldn’t fill her scope.
Her dreams frame another, love unexplored,
A soulmate awaiting, destiny’s accord.
Her heart whispered secrets of a love unfound,
Unseen by others, but enchanting in sound.
The yearning grows stronger, a fire set aglow,
To longing of soul, her heart’s ebb and flow.
In a tapestry of ink, she searches for truth,
Longing for love that transcends her youth.
Her tattoos worn proudly, but inside blue,
A mortal awaits, their connection past due.
She’ll stay on the search, her heart will not rest,
Until she finds the one who’ll be her best.
Her tattoos tell stories, her body reveals,
But her heart holds the secret of love concealed.
Hurts So Sad
Trying to weep, but the tears won’t come
Life pressures building, wanna come undone
I look for release in unique places
Because I see the chagrin in familiar faces.
I think of his future and the knife cuts so deep
Who will love him and where will he sleep?
There’s gotta be more than this wretched existence
Mysterious energy tells of gross preexistence.
At least it’s not anger, of which I despise
When I see the world clearly through incredible hulk eyes
Then I fall back so fiercely to a living truth
With disdain for so many, but a comfort in youth.
Now the tears flow fully and it hurts so sad
And all I can think is how they’ll treat him so bad
The future has scorned me, so now I defer
In a present that torments, where scars are incurred.
Languish in Lie
Soulmate designation, littered lies, see her fly
But souls don’t need each other, just a fable in a sty
“We can freely love so many,” when she needed me around
“Oh, that love thing, overrated,” when a new boy came to town.
I left her there to languish, when invitation was rejected?
I sat right here in anguish, bewildered and dejected
Banging head against a wall, now this brain is fully fried
While she dangled warm embraces, but caroused with brand new bride.
Please my dude come see me, I’ll drive you all around
Our love will soar much higher, as we conquer all the town
Oh wait, no, I can’t do it, my anxiety has worsened
Please lust for me alone, or I’ll be branded rotten person.
I’d give her every mountain, for as far as eyes can see
As affliction tears right through me, in the form of crushing creed
All I did was try to love her when I offered her the moon
Now eclipsed from her existence, like a sad, naive, old fool.
Soul Target
She will have to share my pain
A basement bargain for all these games
Scot free negligence in all its bliss
Where shifty endeavors always miss.
Dried up county once felt so lush
Now feels of ghost town, no daily rush
Just intuition as a catch-all funnel
For personal values and hidden tunnels.
Replacement heart now falling through
Emotions like sky, now fade to blue
Just biding time till death do us part
My soul, the target. Her words, the dart.
But that soul was cryin’ when first we met
Now those tears paint pictures I can’t forget
While her memory haunts me from atop a shelf.
I decline in darkness all by myself.
Ghost Town
She built me up then left me stranded
In a dusty dry deserted town
I stayed put like a coward rejected
With only a furious forlorn frown
I conversed with her ghost for many moons
Like a maniacal manic mental mule
Afraid to abandon that which departed
Stuck in a profuse painful pool
I lay lodged ’til all the dust settled
As still as glorious gorgeous gold
Then saw my fate in a lost lonely world
Fragile heart sought, soldered, and sold
Came to my senses in the eleventh hour
Before the ferocious pheasant feast
And became the ghost of my own emotion
Disoriented. Dismayed. Denied. Deceased.
Oblivious Inquiry
She entered in at my lowest point
Amid her struggles, hinging on joint
A bond was built with braided strand
But the illusion of strength is sometimes sand.
Ever-present, when her love needed care
Aspirations of Norway, dreams of somewhere
Soulmate connection with fabricated rules
Ever-changing enigma, a contest of fools.
I returned to reality after a long, cold winter
To find him in frame, a shadowy figure
Someone she felt and touched all the same
Her new adventure, her alternate game.
Brakes locked up to drift right around
Skid marks on pavement, emotions on ground
Change of plans, reversal of pace
This sad soul neglected, fresh tears cover face.
Oblivious inquiry to my state of affairs
To my broken heart and my soul in despair
Off to the side, on my hands and knees
Out of her focus, unable to be.
Indifferent Moon
I don’t know where our souls connect
So I look to my heart to feel the effect.
But my heart deceives me and litters lies
Conceals the truth and clouds my skies.
She’s so far away it feels like a dream
Just one simple touch could heal the machine.
If only to hug her and ease this pain
My heart beats profusely and uncontained.
But wild is her wind and I’m but a tree
I saw her arrive now I watch her flee.
Father time forbade my esoteric love
Then forced me to free her like a mourning dove.
Abandonment dagger leaves a fatal wound
As I lie on the shore under indifferent moon.
So I pick up the pieces of what remains
Intuitive shrapnel. No gain, just her shame.
Evanescent Reign
She sends her mignons to deal her death
With stares of plasma and dragon’s breath.
A holy roller coaster of a woman she sits
Hold tight for the ride. Prepare to submit.
My life has no worth in her ideal existence
Humility ignored, regardless of distance.
Perpetually wrong, inconsiderate of truth
Inconceivable song with unceasing ruth.
As patterns mature and decency detracts
My primordial transgression blurs so abstract.
To the point of confusion when she gasps for air
As she swivels to see me, to find me nowhere.
We’ve traveled so far, but made not a gain
This treadmill survival. This evanescent reign.
Will soon decompose like tension before
That anxious corrosion can rest evermore.
The Other Boy
I haven’t written much poetry lately. There’s a few reasons for this, but the biggest reason is that I’ve been busy publishing my first book. It’s titled The Other Boy: An Intensely Emotional Voyage. The Other Boy tells the story of a long, arduous war my family and I have been in for over twelve years. The story is told from the perspective of a highly intuitive father, me, who had to dig deep into his imagination and explore what might have been to fully understand and appreciate what actually is.
I’d love for you to purchase a copy of my book. It can be found on most major online bookstores as well as Amazon, at https://amzn.to/31emB1G.
I’ve also rolled out a new blog site which I’ll use as my author site, M. Stephens Hall. While I’ll continue to post my poetry here at Little White Robots, I’ll post material related to The Other Boy and other WIPs like upcoming books The Mysterious Death of BigPapaJava and Spaghettification to M. Stephens Hall.
Misplaced in Time
So far away she doesn’t seem real
Even with logic the doubts still prevail
I reach out to touch her but only feel pain
Is this love, or torture, or a lifeless game?
While daytime is busy, the night brings unrest
Then sun brings regret, and jealousy the rain
Phantom excursions planned out so freely
While the keys to my cell sit still all the same.
Conclusion of thought yields disappointment
As reality’s consumed with fourth degree burns
Metaphysical magnetism, attraction so strong
But misplaced in time, can hearts still go on?
Needs and wants wrestle in perpetual fear
And our desires are often more far than near
So we accept sad settlements to protect ourselves
But spiritual connections don’t whisper—they yell!
What If I Awoke
What if I awoke
And it was all but a dream
When I wandered sad and lost
Where your pain placed no decree.
What if my worth never lay
Cold and helpless on the ground
With value fully charged
Eternally plugged in, to never run down.
What if I never changed
Then never found my soul
Hidden beneath the giant ferns
Left to rot, like warriors of old.
What if my essence never touched
Your heart with subtle hints
Your soul with secret tropes
Your every being with soft intent.
What if I awoke
And it was all but a dream
Then I’d feel the perfect sadness
My heart, slowly bursting at the seam.
Society Rapes
Chills all over as Society rapes
Hard knee on my neck
Disbelief on my face.
Murder feels in the air tonight
Oh Lord please help us
Flash of badge, then show of might.
False accusations of sexual sin
While porn fills their eyes
And narcissism, their grin.
Petrified body takes it all the same
Society’s meat grinder
Now numb, no pain.
So save your judgement you bloody dink
I got nothing for ya
Not an ounce in the tank!
What you give out is what you’ll get
Now grab a handful
Of Society’s shit!
Two Good Reasons
I would have protected you
From your desires
Dropped a kilo of water
On your burning fire.
To have a friendship
Till the end of days
With someone who fathoms
My distinctive haze.
But so many moons
Have set on the plain
Do you have regrets?
Was it worth the pain?
While others advised me
To hide in a cave
Without even looking
Pass go and don’t stay!
But when I withdrew
There were two good reasons
Protect your heart
Respect your freedom.
I thought that was ample
Tucked away in my hole
But the bombs started dropping
As your heart grew so cold.
A mistaken identity
A misshapen ideal
Intuition-gifted truths
For now tightly sealed.
As I found the facts
In the eyes of your sun
Black tunnel little vision
Dark feelings come undone.
Casual Capitulation
Can rash reality reboot reconciliation?
Can we casually capitulate with no causation?
It seems soul sisters have scribbled our sin
Jotting jaded judgments with policy and pen.
While irritating influencers idealize affairs
Offering ominous oppression as omnipotent heirs.
Declaring dismissal in a dismissive delight
Filling fuel for fire in a pretentious plight.
That sarcastic sour scoffing little lad
In his mind magnificent, but in reality sad.
Concealing callousness behind a venomous veil
Wielding wayward warnings as religion fails.
Heel
They voiced their disdain and deemed her flighty
With pleas for placidity in a judgmental spree
Lay down your munitions you myopic milksop
As I urged the eyes of their sad souls to see!
Pinned with a label of jagged and jaded!
Knife and note pinned right on her back.
Struck a chord in the holes of my hemorrhaging heart
Baffling bewilderment, such a calloused attack.
Then the one she trusted smirked at her pain
That self-centered, cynical, sore little man
Seems she’s his tool now… job to get done
Deemed decent for duty, just part of his plan.
But I was banished, barred, belittled, and bled
As her bottle of syrup poured over shame
Dehumanization, darkness, denial, and dilemma
As robot shoulders yield shrugs all the same.
Now her android friends send laser beam stares
Skin piercing heat from a programmed face
While I continue to pray with courageous confusion
Absorbing attacks in the absence of grace.
I came to her rescue when she hated me most!
Like a crucifixion, they all let her down!
I paid a price for her friendship as I fought for her name
With her heel in my back and my face on the ground!
Down in a Pit
I know what it’s like to be down in a pit
Spit on
Shit on
Told to go sit
Face in a corner
Nose on the wall
Eyes to the ground
Don’t talk at all
Either friend or enemy
No in between
Don’t need my kidney
No grace is seen
Eventually forgotten
Perpetually rotten
Your means to my end
Whether locked in a prison
Or down in a pit
You’ll choose to fend
While I decline to pretend
We’ll exist in this chasm
Your fetters fasten
But do not bind
Hopeful
Of purpose
Thankful
For pain
Slow death requires courage
Deep pits fill with tears
Hard salt
Heavy rain.
Existential Thresh
I pissed my pants yesterday
Transcendent dance
Time to play.
Shit myself with no control
Demons released
Reset and go.
Dentition disaster with vacated mouth
End is near
Nutritional drouth.
Juice injected one last crime
Dimensional traveler
Of space and time.
Stiff stale body stuck to a chair
Peculiar posture
Existing nowhere.
Soul now free from sins of the flesh
No more pain
Existential thresh.
A Kiss Overdue
I wanna free fall from a thousand feet
Hit the ground so hard there’s nothing left
Or get blasted into a fiery furnace
Burn up in flames in a solar flare theft.
If a part of me remains, don’t wake me up
Let me sleep, just leave me at rest
Too late for apologies, I just wanna scream
Bury me alive, no compression of chest.
I don’t need your glue to piece me together
I’d rather stay shattered just like this
I don’t need perfection in a broken world
Turn off the ventilator because something’s amiss.
Slice me up and put me in salad
Examine my layers as the blade blasts right through
My eyes stained red from the diffusing sting
Let the hurt reek havoc like a kiss overdue.
Walk of Life
We traversed a great plain
My pup and I.
Saw God’s creation
Cool fog fell from high.
We passed a dead roach
With broken heart disease.
My pup sniffed his shell
But his spirit had to leave.
We then saw a cricket
Who had passed from this place.
His body still standing
But his soul led astray.
Saw a taxi cab preacher
Just playing his part.
Got theology and coffee
But lost track of their hearts.
The flies swarm the feces
Those vile mushy mounds.
The perfect relationship
Just me and my hound.
I’ll Be Somewhere
When it all goes down girl
And you realize
I’m the only one who cared
Please come find me
I’ll be there.
You can pray to God
Through our spiritual bond
When you’re ready to share
With a handful of grace
I’ll be somewhere.
The past won’t matter
The future won’t listen
Destiny won’t care
With my arms wide open
I’ll go anywhere.
When the shit hits the fan
And you feel so lonely
With nobody there
The world will feel empty
But I’ll be right here… acutely aware.
Spiritual Thing
Like it or not
We’re now connected in some spiritual thing
It’s deeper than you or I or any earthly spring.
It’s more powerful
Than admiration, love, or even lust
It’s light we can’t see. It’s spiritual dust.
It’s metaphysical
Not limited like this sensory world
No concept of woman, man, boy, or girl.
It’s reaching up
To that same higher power
Asking for sweet to replace the sour.
It’s like taking a trip
Into a transcendent hole
To find the master key to unlock our souls.
That’s What Ya Get
Invisible boundary breached
I’m not ninja
She crafted me a tool
I’m binoculars, he holds me. Look!
Now he sees what she wants
That’s what ya get
You got me bub?
She commanded he pounce.
Not the shackles he wanted
Shake it off! Get it off me!
He wants no part! These bees!
Tasks at hand take top spot.
He does not care! All beware
That’s what ya get!
Her tip toe dance so graceful
Hide away, girl at play, puppet master.
She wants to scream
But they don’t hear
She screams away, another day
Where did he go? Where is everybody?
Tells her girls. Clones!
Delegated death stare
But I already knew
She should have gone for my head!
Because my heart can shatter
And I will go on
Snarl girl, snarl at me.
That’s what ya get!
Let it out. Stress relief. No more grief.
Scream, girl. Scream your voice away.
Hit me so hard. Feel better now!
That’s what ya get!
Dam of Tears
Took a hike today
Cried like a baby
Felt so damn good
No black and white, just greys and maybe.
Thought about the passing
Of a beloved friend’s soul
When I received their message
Knew I had to go.
When I arrived where they were
The mood had been drained
Then she clinched me so tightly
Her anger. Her pain!
We must have embraced
For at least half the day
As their eyes gazed upon us
Our sins washed away.
As emotions welled up
Behind that dam of tears
They opened the floodgates
And released all our fears.
With our hearts now empty
And our spirits gone astray
I knew I had to leave her
So I up and walked away.
This is true friendship
It’s love and it’s pain
I cried like a baby
With a special friend today.
Cold Kapok
I sat alone on the side of a road
Left there to die. Left there to mold
My eyes didn’t blink. My expressionless face
Stared straight ahead hoping for an intimate embrace.
Mere months before, as she skulked through her pain
I sat by her side. I felt her disdain
On that car seat of life. My emotional support
Seemed to run dry. Convicted alone in an empty court.
But don’t act surprised, you’ve seen me before
That sad teddy bear sitting alone on the shoulder
Of jet black roads which lead nowhere
With cold kapok and mud-splashed hair.
But don’t shed a tear. Not for me
My life is no more painful than yours
Just full of veiled snares, steep stares, and empty prayers
But most of all… imaginary roads which lead to somewhere.
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