Words ran out a long time ago

Some will ask, “Where did they go?”

Many will ponder but nobody knows

My mind rode a box car to a distant land

Or did some drugs

In rock and roll band

The words were rich but now so poor

Once lived in a castle

Now still on the floor

Aging wrinkles replace ambition

Meaning now changed

With new disposition

But I stand tall with eyes wide open

Words lie in wait

Still unspoken

Hear the squeaking of his voice

That cowardly little dink

Had a notion, made a choice

Now he’s dressed in bunny pink.

Oh, you wanna be courageous?

So you threaten from afar?

Your disease is so contagious

Now your hand’s stuck in the jar.

Your arrogance your master

Your hubris is to blame

Go sling your pompus plaster

While they laugh you into shame.

You’ll never have the mettle

To look me in the face

Cause you’re the bunny coward

Please leave without a trace.

Now take your scant perspective

Thy shame I do bestow

Your jabs most inneffective

Your ambience so faux.

Lost in a forest with three broken ribs

I lie under ferns as I struggle to breathe

Rain shower drizzle washes me clean

Welts on my back glow bright and seethe.

Slash on my face exposes cheek

Notable reflection for future scar

Mosaic contusions from shoulder to wrist

Death seems so near and life feels so far.

Concussion subsides and memories return

I escaped from her prison but not without harm

A swing, an explosion, a kick, and a strike

Thought I took freedom but instead bought the farm.

So if I don’t return they should look at her

The locals, the state, and the feds all the same

Don’t believe the stories, her lies, and the passion

Emotions stacked high, but not built for pain.

Stories hidden under ink-stained skin

They come to life and jump right out

Love and loss littered with gripping grief

Telling tales of emotion that leave no doubt.

Eyes so dark you can see the stars

And the complex cosmos she holds within

Her ascendant sentiment subjugates all

As frown and tears only start to begin.

But a jaded soul scorned knows no grace

She’ll turn a spark into a forest fire

And when attempts of appeasment crash down in flames

Her unconscious onslaught turns delectably dire.

As I find myself now trapped in her ink-stained skin

I’ve learned my existence is a spurious lie

Where up is down in her self-righteous maze

And I’m condemned to her mystery until the day I die.

They cultivated a compelling covenant

Forcefully forged from respect received

A special someone sought a salvation song

Which required redemption from their angry seas.

Feeling such soothing, sensational strength

As the tall tree grew with ground in tow

He accepted their pain with perpetual pleasure

But those raging roots had nowhere to go.

For he was the marvelous, magnificent mystic

Fantastic and free, the people his fruit

Emotionally connected down dangling denial

Their pain so chronic. Their discomfort acute.

But the treacherous time raced right by

And the faithful fruit felt forced to drop

Painful separation served sadness surreal

Bruising, regret, then the tick of the clock.

Such a glorious gift now gone with the wind

Long way down to ponder the pain

Still more sad souls seeking salvation

And a lone wayward warrior to fan their flames.

But the pressure so powerful, a voice in vain

Precipitous propagation in a vertical flow

In time not a stem could ever remain

Give all that you have, then let each one go.

They want me to break

As they lie in wait

They lay out their snares

They empty their freight.

But what they don’t know

Is I see them there

I’ve picked up their scent

Their intentions so bare!

I play right along

With their attempt to shame

No judgement from me

I expect foolish games!

From hurting people

Who want me to hurt

As they construct their portrayal

As they synthesize dirt.

Just to let ya know girl

I had to let ya go girl

Now my world has all the diamonds

Now my world has all the pearls.

But don’t be fooled girl

It’s not Hollywood lights

You have to dig deep for diamonds

You have to weep, scrape, claw, and fight.

And pearls don’t just float to the top

You have to dive down to the ocean floor

You have to go where the pressure hurts

Where chests implode and tears slowly pour.

So when you think of me, think of a child

Who hangs on to dreams when mom’s not there

Who hurts so badly in hopes she’ll return

Who craves the peace of answered prayers.

I didn’t want to hurt you

So I changed the game

Withdrew to my cave

Played chess with our pain.

In moments of torment

When emotions embraced

I ran that much faster

So you could save face.

Your past roared emphatically

Drew out like a sword

That bitter cold metal

Gentle whisper, fragile chord.

But I stood my ground

Like the mountain so strong

As you whaled on my soul

Like a tear-filled song.

She became dirt

As roots permeated what once was skin

Arterial walls turned epidermic

Past epidemic proportions as light drew thin.

Her sweet taste of sugar

Which formerly electrified my sour soul

Has now turned bitter

The taste of dirt so rotten, an effluvium of old.

Bones turned to branches

And hair to weeds with blossoming blooms

Dark eyes turned black

As she retreated to the universe through her organic tomb.

Her effigy stands tall

In my mind as a symbol for misguided souls

Indoctrinated in legalism

Mistaking emancipation for a prisoner’s role.

That resolute crashing wave of pain

That elusive sorrow gone for now

So I wait for the next distinctive one

Not knowing what, when, why or how.

I’d not known such fabulous fervor

For some twenty one odd years

When first love’s heart had shattered

Leaving my soul so sad and seared.

In between each rolling wave

Where life lies frail, fruitless and numb

My essence feels absolutely nothing!

And my stubborn tears refuse to come.

My desolate soul yearns to feel the hurt

As I leisurely crash in a phantom plane

Dissociation and absence of feelings

The faceless intruder who numbs the pain.

Going on three years of fervid passion

With access to pain from future and past

The numbness lies still, ravaged, expired

Sent away by the next waning wave’s blast.

My raging heart again pumps with hurt

Exuberant spirit dances in the pouring rain

That elusive sorrow gone for now

That resolute crashing wave of pain.