That resolute crashing wave of pain

That elusive sorrow gone for now

So I wait for the next distinctive one

Not knowing what, when, why or how.

I’d not known such fabulous fervor

For some twenty one odd years

When first love’s heart had shattered

Leaving my soul so sad and seared.

In between each rolling wave

Where life lies frail, fruitless and numb

My essence feels absolutely nothing!

And my stubborn tears refuse to come.

My desolate soul yearns to feel the hurt

As I leisurely crash in a phantom plane

Dissociation and absence of feelings

The faceless intruder who numbs the pain.

Going on three years of fervid passion

With access to pain from future and past

The numbness lies still, ravaged, expired

Sent away by the next waning wave’s blast.

My raging heart again pumps with hurt

Exuberant spirit dances in the pouring rain

That elusive sorrow gone for now

That resolute crashing wave of pain.