I bang my head against a wall

That doesn’t even exist at all.

Just a mirage, a barrier of air.

An object that isn’t even there.

The frustration is taxing.

My discipline so lacking.

Makes me wanna punch myself.

Or do something else to hurt my health.

Constantly failing, again and again.

Impulsive and angry, like there is no end.

Another retreat to solitude.

Now I’m in a defeated mood.

Hate myself. Despise who I am.

Feel like a loser. Feel like a sham.

This progenation can be unforgiving.

Emotionally. Mentally. I keep reliving.

All the things I did wrong today.

And all the prices I had to pay.